Lennie Lower Quotes

I forgot to mention that where the guest of honour is a man, he should take the hostess's arm when entering the dining- room. If the hostess is very far gone, another gentleman may hold the other arm, a third gentleman going in front with the legs.

I diet very strenuously myself. First my breakfast, then diet; lunch followed by a fairly light diet in order to prepare for afternoon tea, which should be followed by a fair amount of dieting until dinner time. If the system can stand it, one should fast from then until supper.

A whale's best friend is its blubber.

The careful hostess will see that the jam is tastefully displayed. A little crepe paper around the tins will easily fix this.

That's the worst of these New Year resolutions-they get you into so much trouble. I think it is much safer to give some harmless order to yourself, such as resolving not to drink out of horse-troughs on Sunday. But I wasn't satisfied with something simple like that. I made a grand, sweeping gesture and resolved to be a model husband. And the result: The resolution split up the sides the first day.

As the old adage says, "There is many a true word spoken in chess."

When eating fruit, such as watermelon, the seeds should be removed from the mouth with the hand and placed in the pocket or handbag. At important functions it is best to swallow them, as it saves mucking about.

Many people are confused by the multiplicity of knives, forks, and spoons set before them, and are inclined to make a haphazard selection, thus making goats of themselves. Remain calm and do the thing systematically. First of all, use up the spoons; secondly, go through the forks; then wind up on the knives. In the case of wine glasses and so forth, select the biggest and stick to it. I do this myself invariably, and have never been tossed out of a dining-room yet.

I have never yet met a barber who didn't know everything, and such being the case it is only right that he be given his proper social and professional status in the community.I defy anybody to stun a barber with a question he can't answer, be it foreign affairs, skin diseases, horses or hang- overs. Just the same, it seems a pity that barbering should be degraded to the level of the medical and legal professions.

A gentleman should not talk to a lady with his hands in his pockets-unless she's his wife, in which case it's unavoidable.

After the celebrations we all settled down to a bit of solid mourning. We mourned to such an extent that the police were called in, and you should have seen the empties! The caretaker gets the lot. No wonder he owns a care. I mean a car.

... geography is so unsettled lately. You've got to wait for the late final extra edition of the evening paper to find out if places are still on the map.

. But then, so is soup.

I've often wondered how people become dentists. Probably some sadistic urge due to ill-treatment in early youth. If they had been put in a Borstal institute when showing the first signs of mental dentality or dental mentality or, anyhow, becoming jaw-minded, they might have been cured. As it is they are permitted to roam at large and have conventions.

People have asked me which was the better-poultry farming or dairy farming.Well, you've got to milk a cow, but a hen does her own egging.Mind you, there's a lot to be said for dairy farming. A lot of farmers say it, too. I don't blame them much, although I never did approve of bad language.