A whale's best friend is its blubber. - Lennie Lower

Don't be misled by weighing machines. Weighing machines are the most lying things on earth, and should be treated accordingly. When you see "16 st. 10 lb." on the dial, think of the number you first thought of and stick to it. And don't be disheartened if results do not come immediately. Slim women may look slick, but a fat woman stays. Ask any corset manufacturer.

At the conclusion of the dinner the hostess gives the signal to rise. I am not sure how this is done, but I think that a green flag waved two or three times above the head should be sufficient, or at an informal affair, just a cheery remark, "Now, come on! You've had enough," would suffice.

After the celebrations we all settled down to a bit of solid mourning. We mourned to such an extent that the police were called in, and you should have seen the empties! The caretaker gets the lot. No wonder he owns a care. I mean a car.