But we were speaking of dentists, I think. I shall have to tread softly here. I am at present having some teeth filled. A boring business. - Lennie Lower

... Why don't you put this beer out in the sun to get cool? If it was any flatter you'd have to serve it on a plate.

When eating fruit, such as watermelon, the seeds should be removed from the mouth with the hand and placed in the pocket or handbag. At important functions it is best to swallow them, as it saves mucking about.

I like hotels. I am compiling a brochure on bar-room tactics which may interest you. For instance, always get your shout in first; you never know who else may turn up later. The only exception to this rule is when the other party looks at his watch and says, "Just one quick one. I must get away soon." In that case you let him shout first. After having it, and as he is just going to the door, it is permissable to say, "Sure you won't have another?" Only a dirty dog would say "Yes."When in a team, watch the soda bottles carefully. If they are still half full, it is safe to shout the whiskies. I once had to shout eight whiskies and assorted bottles of soda-water and ginger-ale. I didn't mind the whisky so much, but to be landed with eight bottles of soda-water and ginger-ale galled me. I have never made that mistake since.