People frequently ask me where I get all my culture and information from. If you met me and had converse with me for a few minutes you would probably… - Lennie Lower

I never did care much for cocktail parties. I'm all the time looking for a place to put the olive-stones. You can't park them under the table like chewing-gum. Cherries are easy; they just go down whole with the drink, toothpick and all.

Many people are confused by the multiplicity of knives, forks, and spoons set before them, and are inclined to make a haphazard selection, thus making goats of themselves. Remain calm and do the thing systematically. First of all, use up the spoons; secondly, go through the forks; then wind up on the knives. In the case of wine glasses and so forth, select the biggest and stick to it. I do this myself invariably, and have never been tossed out of a dining-room yet.

Last time the wife was sick I did all the housework. It's child's play once you get used to it. The difficulty, however, is in getting used to it.