I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is to… - David Sedaris

" "
I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footsteps of the living dead.

David Sedaris

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About David Sedaris

David Raymond Sedaris (born December 26, 1956) is an American humorist, comedian, author, and radio contributor.

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Alternative Names: David Raymond Sedaris

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Originators like David Sedaris:

J. D. Salinger Margaret Atwood John Irving Steve Martin Terry Pratchett

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there's a reason regular people don't appear on TV: we're boring.

It was insulting to be told not to take too much of something you didn't really want in the first place.

"The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole."

I won't put in a load of laundry, because the machine is too loud and would drown out other, more significant noises - namely, the shuffling footstep… - David Sedaris

About David Sedaris

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Works in ChatGPT, Claude, or Any AI

Additional quotes by David Sedaris