I lack what the English call character, by which they mean the power to refrain. - Alan Bennett

Brian (asked how he feels about being a politician): Passes the time. Fills in that awkward gap between the cradle and the grave.

We have fish and chips, which W. and I fetch from the shop in Settle market-place. Some local boys come in and there is a bit of chat between them and the fish-fryer about whether the kestrel under the counter is for sale.…Only when I mention it to W. does he explain Kestrel is now a lager. I imagine the future is going to contain an increasing number of incidents like this, culminating with a man in a white coat saying to one kindly, "And now can you tell me the name of the Prime Minister?"

That's a bit like asking a man crawling across the Sahara whether he would prefer Perrier or Malvern water.