Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends. The question of self-pity. - Joan Didion

Perhaps it is difficult to see the value in having one's self back in that kind of mood, but I do see it; I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be, whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind's door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget. We forget the loves and the betrayals alike, forget what we whispered and what we screamed, forget who we were.

You see the point. I want to tell you the truth, and already I have told you about the wide rivers.

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.