All of me, every aspect of my being, is important. I count for something. I matter. My feelings can be trusted. My thinking is appropriate. I value m… - Melody Beattie

Sometimes codependents were blamed; sometimes they were ignored; sometimes they were expected to magically shape up (an archaic attitude that has not worked with alcoholics and doesn’t help codependents either). Rarely were codependents treated as individuals who needed help to get better. Rarely were they given a personalized recovery program for their problems and their pain. Yet, by its nature, alcoholism and other compulsive disorders turn everyone affected by the illness into victims — people who need help even if they are not drinking, using other drugs, gambling, overeating, or overdoing a compulsion.

If we want to change what happens, we change what we believe and expect.

Control is an illusion. It doesn’t work.