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old patterns do not give up easily. they will try to keep pulling you into reactions that lead into repeating the past. but in time, after not feeding them for a while and continually practicing your ability to pause and respond, they weaken and become easier to let go. they may still appear as an option occasionally but will not have the same strength as before. this is the turning point, the shift that changes everything, the leap forward you have been waiting for, the victory when it becomes clear that you have moved
Curiosity is especially useful when intense emotions arise. When we encounter sadness, for instance, we can ask ourselves where it is coming from. When we find a hardened pattern, we can ask ourselves how it came to be. Was it a tactic of survival? Did it emerge from fear? Where is this sadness coming from? When did this pattern start forming? What triggers this pattern and how is this behavior affecting my life?
"they asked her,
"how do you get through tough moments?"
she answered,
"do not trust the way you see yourself when your mind is turbulent, and remember that even pain is temporary. honour your boundaries, treat yourself gently, let go of perfection, and feel your emotions without letting them control you. you have enough experience to face the storm and evolve from it.
remember, trust blossoms in the absence of control, and vibrant relationships should feel like a balance of freedom and home. your partner should accept you as you are but also help you feel safe enough to do the deep work of healing and growth not because they want to change you but because their presence energizes and inspires you to flourish into greater emotional maturity
Since every human being only has a finite amount of energy and time, it becomes incredibly important to have a serious conversation with yourself and ask: What do I want to do with my life? What do I want my mind to feel like a decade from now? What do I need to do now so that I can thrive later? Giving the greater share of your energy to your goals is not selfish. It means you know yourself so deeply that there is no confusion as to what truly matters to you and what you are currently building.