Do not focus your healing on making sense of why someone would want to cause you pain. You will never know their true intentions or whether they actually intended to hurt you or not. It’s better to aim to accept instead of to decode, dissect, or justify what happened. Getting stuck on trying to make sense of it is a form of resistance to feeling it or an escape from it. And all that is a distraction from doing the real work. From going back to the root and extracting the pain from the source.
lebanese-Canadian author
Najwa Zebian (born April 26, 1990) is a Lebanese-Canadian activist, author, poet, and speaker.
Zebian was born in Bekaa, Lebanon and moved to Ontario, Canada at sixteen during the 2006 Lebanon War. She attended the University of Western Ontario, earning a Bachelor of Science in Biology in 2010 and a Master of Education in Curriculum Studies in 2013. She continued her studies and earned a Doctor of Education in Educational Leadership in 2022. She resides in London, Ontario.
From: Wikipedia (CC BY-SA 4.0)
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You don’t wait for someone to come change your life or save you. You don’t wait for someone to pick up your mess along the way. You do that yourself. And when you don’t pick up the mess, you take responsibility instead of blaming others. You trust yourself as the leader of your life and act in accordance.
See yourself through the eyes of those who love you. They see all of the goodness in you when you fail to see it. They see the best in you when you see the worst. They are always ready to lift you up even before you fall down. They see every reason why you deserve happiness, love, and joy when you may feel that you're the furthest thing from deserving all of that goodness. Learn to care about those who care about you before you try to make those who don't even notice you turn your way. If you can't see happiness in what you already have, you're fooling yourself if you think that getting what you want will make you happy. If you can't see happiness in the simplest of things, you won't be able to see happiness in what's bigger. If you can't see the beauty of the stars, you may never appreciate the beauty of the moon.
The people you welcome into your home, who you allow to sit at your table, are those who will listen without judgment, without the immediate need to respond, criticize, or analyze. Those who practice, not just show, compassion. Those who, even when they disapprove of your actions or what led you here, will tell you “It must be so hard. I can’t begin to imagine feeling what you’re feeling.” Not people who will say things like “But how did you not see this or that?” or any statement that makes you feel your problem is nothing compared to what they or others are going through.
I felt so lucky that a man like you
wanted me in a kingdom like yours.
And when the gates opened and I entered inside,
I saw nothing that pleases the eye.
You see, you worked so hard to build your fort,
but forgot to tidy what's inside.
The years had tainted your every corner
with the torture that you inflicted on
every visitor.
And now I look back and think
what a fool you were to think
that you could conquer a queen's kingdom like mine.
What a fool.
Broken Wings Don't break a bird's wings and then tell it to fly. Don't break a heart and then tell it to love. Don't break a soul and then tell it to be happy. Don't see the worst in a person and expect them to see the best in you. Don't judge people and expect them to stand by your side. Don't play with fire and expect to stay perfectly safe. Life is about giving and taking. You cannot expect to give bad and receive good. You cannot expect to give good and receive bad. Does it happen? Yes, but don't make that an excuse for you to keep doing what you know is wrong. Don't blame life for what you do. That is so selfish and ignorant on your behalf.