I am broken beyond repair. There is no going back to the person I was before. There is rebirth, rebuilding, reinventing, and soul stitching with go… - Najwa Zebian

As I attempt to describe this pain, words crumble before they can be written on paper. It felt like someone had walked me all the way up to the top of a mountain and pushed me off with all their force. At the same time, I felt numb. Perhaps it was denial. Shock. Disbelief. Or maybe the pain was so deep I couldn’t feel its intensity anymore. I felt a tingling sensation all over my body. Like I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t cry. I wanted to yell, but I couldn’t yell. I guess what I really wanted was to change this ending. But I couldn’t. This was the end of the fight. I felt so helpless.

I really don’t want to have Crohn’s. But I have it. And that’s a fact I literally cannot change. If it were up to me, I would erase it from my body, but I don’t have that kind of power. What I have power over is figuring out what the best way to nourish my body is given the situation it’s in and do my best to give it what it needs.

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who sense your need for love and take advantage of it to gain medicine for their own pain and to get their wants and needs met.