So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means. - Douglas Adams

My capacity for happiness,’ he added, ‘you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.

POPULATION: None. It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

"You have a time machine and you use it for... watching television?"

"Well, I wouldn't use it at all if I could get the hang of the video recorder."