What, are you, crazy?' 'It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet', said Zaphod quietly. 'I know as much about myself as my mind can work out under … - Douglas Adams

I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good.

Stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Pleased to be of service.
Shut up.
Thank you.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Thank you for making a simple door very happy.
Hope your diodes rot.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
It is my pleasure to open for you...
Zark off.
...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
I said zark off.
Thank you for listening to this message.

He felt a spasm of excitement because he knew instinctively who it was, or at least knew who it was he wanted it to be, and once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is.

...and the Universe, ... will explode later for your pleasure.