When I was 25, all I did was just scream, "Sellout! Fucking sellouts. Corporate sellout. Industry bullshit. Meh-meh-meh." I look back on it and I rea… - Patton Oswalt

Hey Patton, looks like Paris Hilton's writing a book. And I go, "She's a cunt who should die of AIDS." They go, (nervously) "Ah ha ha, okay! Hey! All right... um, okay, follow-up question. She's also coming out with a line of handbags," "As long as she gets AIDS, that's fine with me, man. If she could get cancer of the AIDS of the leukemia of the eyes, that'd be awesome. If like, a biker could fuck that into her skull..."

If they've really caught the #GoldenStateKiller, I hope I get to visit him. Not to gloat or gawk — to ask him the questions that @TrueCrimeDiary wanted answered in her “Letter To An Old Man” at the end of #IllBeGoneInTheDark.

I don't give a shit where the stuff I love comes from! I JUST LOVE THE STUFF I LOVE! Hey, do you like Angelina Jolie? Does she give you a big boner? Well, here's Jon Voight's ball sack!