The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished… - Dave Barry

As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.

When the cow jerks away, it’ll yank the door open.”
“But what’s going to make the cow jerk away?” asked Little Richard.
“You’re going to milk it,” said Slank.
“But I don’t know how to milk a cow!” said Little Richard.
“Exactly.