I always judge people by appearances; don't you anyway? I think clothes are important; that's where the nudist camp falls down. - John Cooper Clarke

You know, like they say: never trust a thin chef, or a doctor with leprosy.

I'm a short-term nostalgic; things were great ten minutes ago. If only I could go back there. At my time of life I suffer from déjà vu and amnesia at the same time; I can't remember what happens next.

This guy was going to marmalise me! I mean, where's the kudos in beating up a seven-stone fucking consumptive? I was a self-confessed coward, then as now. My coat of arms has been detailed elsewhere: four white feathers on a field of yellow. Nothing for me is more terrifying than physical pain....