When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner. - Stephen Colbert

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When meeting royalty, it is very important, no matter how excited you are, not to vomit on them. Instead, vomit on the nearest commoner.

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About Stephen Colbert

Stephen Tyrone Colbert (born 13 May 1964) is an American satirist, comedian, writer, actor, and television host most famous for his work on The Daily Show, The Colbert Report from 2005 to 2014 where he portrays a parody of conservative media pundits, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert since 2015. He graduated from Northwestern University in 1986, and appeared in the films Nobody Knows Anything! (2003), Snow Days (1999), and Shock Asylum (1997). In 1995, Colbert made his TV debut on Comedy Central in Exit 57 and was later on the show Strangers with Candy. Colbert did voice work for "The Ambiguously Gay Duo" on Saturday Night Live as the voice of Ace, and also provided the voices of "Myron Reducto", "Phil Ken Sebben", and "The Eagle Of Truth" on Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.

Biography information from Wikiquote

Also Known As

Birth Name: Stephen Tyrone Colbert
Alternative Names: Stephen T. Colbert
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Additional quotes by Stephen Colbert

Answer honestly... Disabuse me of my ignorance. Don’t let me get away with anything. Don’t try to play my game. Be real. Be passionate. Hold your ideas. Give me resistance. Give me traction I can work against. The friction between reality, or the truly held concerns of the person, and the farcical concerns that I have, or my need to seem important, as opposed to actually understanding what’s true... Where those two things meet is where the comedy happens. So be real. That's the best thing you can do. And call me on my bullshit.

Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight
from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

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Equations are the devil's sentences.

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