Garrison Keillor Quotes

If it were not for the truth of fiction there would not be any truth at all.

I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

tragic Powell, the Company Man Who Could Have Been Great, who was offered the mantle by all the polls but deferred to the Boss’s Callow Son and vouched for him,

You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

In electronic publishing, they're are no editors and if their are there not very good.

First of all, most poems aren’t memorable; in fact, they make no impression at all. Sorry, but it’s true. There are brave blurbs on the back cover (“writes with a lyrical luminosity that reconceptualizes experience with cognitive beauty”) but you open up the goods and they’re like condoms on the beach, evidence that somebody was here once and had an experience but not of great interest to the passerby.

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

When in doubt, look intelligent.

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

The party of Lincoln and Liberty was transmogrified into the party of hairy-backed swamp developers and corporate shills, faith-based economists, fundamentalist bullies with Bibles, Christians of convenience, freelance racists, misanthropic frat boys, shrieking midgets of AM radio, tax cheats, nihilists in golf pants, brownshirts in pinstripes, sweatshop tycoons, hacks, fakirs, aggressive dorks, Lamborghini libertarians, people who believe Neil Armstrong's moonwalk was filmed in Roswell, New Mexico, little honkers out to diminish the rest of us, Newt's evil spawn and their Etch-A-Sketch president, a dull and rigid man suspicious of the free flow of information and of secular institutions, whose philosophy is a jumble of badly sutured body parts trying to walk.

was asking what the difference was between mime and pantomime and no one would say.

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.

That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it.

The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln spoke of. This gang of Republicans has humbugged us to death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their sewage upstream from the rest of us and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and promote the corporate takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.