If you can't trust a Methodist with absolute power to arrest people and not have to say why, then whom can you trust? - Garrison Keillor

Lake Wobegon, where smart doesn't count for so much. A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want. — the people of Lake Woebegon

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor