Top 15 Garrison Keillor Quotes

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

When in doubt, look intelligent.

You get old and you realize there are no answers, just stories.

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth breather there is.

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded gun on your coffee table- There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about.

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining.

The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.

Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.