Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Going to church no more making you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

How many pessimists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never mind. Nobody would get the joke anyway.

To many Americans, whose only knowledge of the North Star State is that it is intensely cold and populated by Swedes and Holsteins, it will come as a surprise to wake up one morning in 2004 and read in the newspaper, "Half of U.S. Economy Now in Hands of Minnesota".

Did you know that half of all people are below average?