"They were Jesuits," she told me. "That means they believe in God but not in terlet paper. You should have seen their underwear. Disgusting." - David Sedaris

It make one's mouth hurt to speak with such forced merriment.

clatter of a typewriter suggests that you're actually building something.

Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.