And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...th… - David Cross

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And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEOPLE on the planet, you selfish fuck. C'mon! You were walking back to your Malibu beach colony home and stubbed your toe on some driftwood, it's not a fuckin' emergency, alright? There's other people with real problems.'

David Cross

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About David Cross

David Cross (born April 4, 1964) is an American stand-up comedian and actor.

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George Carlin Bill Hicks Stephen Colbert Doug Stanhope Dave Barry

Additional quotes by David Cross

All my friends are always telling me how hard it is to have kids. 'Oh, David, it's so hard.' That's not hard. I'll tell you what hard is. Try talking your girlfriend into her third consecutive abortion. Yeah, that's hard, that takes finesse. You’re just inconvenienced.

The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.

If someone gives you a kazoo and toots around the house to MTV, they're not gonna fuck you.

And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEOPLE on the planet, you selfish f… - David Cross

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