And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...th… - David Cross

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And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEOPLE on the planet, you selfish fuck. C'mon! You were walking back to your Malibu beach colony home and stubbed your toe on some driftwood, it's not a fuckin' emergency, alright? There's other people with real problems.'

David Cross

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About David Cross

David Cross (born April 4, 1964) is an American stand-up comedian and actor.

All quotes from David Cross Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like David Cross:

George Carlin Bill Hicks Stephen Colbert Doug Stanhope Dave Barry

Additional quotes by David Cross

In New York, you are constantly faced with this very urgent decision that you have to make, about every twenty minutes...you have to decide, immediately, you have to go "Ohmigod. Do I look at the most beautiful woman in the world or the craziest guy in the world?"

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

I have a few business ideas (that I'm going to advertise in High Times, amongst other places), and one of them is a service in which I offer to eat and describe pork to kosher people.

And then Jesus answered him, Jesus said, 'Well, my son...that is when I was helping one of the other FIVE BILLION PEOPLE on the planet, you selfish f… - David Cross

About David Cross

Additional quotes by David Cross