I got him' is nonsense in terms of love relationships, and so is 'I lost him'. If we could stop thinking in terms of capture, we would not have to fe… - Germaine Greer

The point of an organic family is to release the children from the
disadvantages of being the extensions of their parents so that they
can belong primarily to themselves. They may accept the services
that adults perform for them naturally without establishing dependencies.
There could be scope for them to initiate their own activities
and define the mode and extent of their own learning. They might
come to resent their own strangeness but in other circumstances
they might resent normality; faced with difficulties of adjustment
children seize upon their parents and their upbringing to serve as
scapegoats. Parents have no option but to enjoy their children if they
want to avoid the cycle of exploitation and recrimination. If they
want to enjoy them they must construct a situation in which such
enjoyment is possible

If we could present an attainable ideal of love it would resemble
the relationship described by Maslow as existing between self-realizing
personalities. It is probably a fairly perilous equilibrium: certainly
the forces of order and civilization react fairly directly to
limit the possibilities of self-realization. Maslow describes his ideal
personalities as having a better perception of reality — what Herbert
Read called an innocent eye, like the eye of the child who does not
seek to reject reality. Their relationship to the world of phenomena
is not governed by their personal necessity to exploit it or be exploited
by it, but a desire to observe it and to understand it. They
have no disgust; the unknown does not frighten them. They are
without defensiveness or affectation. The only causes of regret are
laziness, outbursts of temper, hurting others, prejudice, jealousy and
envy. Their behaviour is spontaneous but it corresponds to an
autonomous moral code. Their thinking is problem-centred, not egocentred
and therefore they most often have a sense of commitment
to a cause beyond their daily concerns. Their responses are geared
to the present

As far as cosmetics are used for adornment in a conscious and creative way, they are not emblems of inauthenticity: it is when they are presented as the real thing, covering unsightly blemishes, disguising a repulsive thing so that it is acceptable to the world that their function is deeply suspect. The women who dare not go out without their false eyelashes are in serious psychic trouble.