react is important here. However you approach codependency, however you define it, and from whatever frame of reference you choose to diagnose and tr… - Melody Beattie

Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.

Believing that things happen too slowly or too quickly is an illusion. Timing is perfect.

I reacted to other people’s feelings, behaviors, problems, and thoughts. I reacted to what they might by feeling, thinking, or doing. I reacted to my own feelings, my own thoughts, my own problems. My strong point seemed to be reacting to crises — I thought almost everything was a crisis. I overreacted.

We can tell the truth. Lying about what we think, how we feel, and what we want isn’t being polite — it’s lying.