The desire to impress is an efficient means of bringing out one’s least impressive qualities. - Derren Brown

One minute she is a sweet old silly, knitting herself a set of syringe covers and talking about her favourite flowers, and the very next moment she has told you and your friends she has a ring supporting the back of her vagina.

Some people might think I could play Russian Roulette safely with a blank bullet. Our armourer took us outside to demonstrate the damage a blank causes at close range. (The demonstration showed the significant damage caused by firing a blank at a plastic bottle)

I have had no formal training in painting: I gave up Art A level because I was sick of drawing peppers.