Only emotionally phobic, emotionally immature people believe that wanting empathy and understanding is a sign of weakness. - Lindsay C. Gibson

When you're using terms like 'narcissistic' or 'self-absorbed', they tend to paint the personality with a broad brush," Gibson says, adding that sometimes "the parent does have good qualities, the parent is sometimes [emotionally] available, but the problem is that those times happen on the parent's schedule, depending upon how secure or good that parent is feeling about themselves.

Children stay in alignment with their true self if the important adults in their lives support doing so. However, when they’re criticized or shamed, they learn to feel embarrassed by their true desires. By pretending to be what their parents want, children think they’ve found the way to win their parents’ love. They silence their true selves and instead follow the guidance of their role-selves and fantasies. In the process, they lose touch with both their inner and outer reality.

Emotionally mature people may tell you how they feel about what you did, but they don’t pretend to know you better than you know yourself.