Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy. - E. W. Howe

A man who does not fool himself seldom cares much about fooling others. But the man who claims to have seen a ghost wants everybody else to believe in ghosts.

The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women.

When half the people believe one thing, and the other half another, it is usually safe to accept either opinion. The Democrats are as good as the Republicans, and the Catholics as good as the Protestants.