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I think acting is something that I want to make sure that, if I do make that transition, I want to make sure that it's really dramatic, and put my energy into acting, you know, fully instead of trying to balance a whole lot of things at once, 'cause I really don't want to become one of those singer-trying-to-be-actor-but-didn't-really-work kind of thing.
Like most female actresses, I am always aspiring to succeed and become a popular star, and my positive energy never dies out. And it wasn’t until entering my twenties that I began to identify my real dream as an actress. I realized that acting is not all about receiving people’s applause or cheer. It is about delivering the right character to the audience and feeling satisfied in who you become on stage. Therefore, I try to focus more on the abstract qualities of acting, and I hope to become a better actress throughout time.
It’s different when you’re part of an ensemble cast because then the weight rests on you. You’re one of the people they’re aiming the camera at and are worried about making look good. So it was overwhelming and pretty mind-blowing at first, but at the same time exciting. As an actor, you’re just aching for a regular gig to develop your craft as well as put some money in the bank, which can be a rare thing for most of us in this profession.
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Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
Coming from that place of knowing you are here for a purpose; you're here for a reason; that nobody is on this planet by accident... If you have that as your armor, you can show up as a performer and then see what you bring to the room. That's a good place to be in. I also tell people that it's really important to have the desire to perform, but also the willingness to do the work. What I mean by work, as any aspiring musical theatre kid knows, is singing all the time; taking dance and acting classes; doing monologues by yourself in your room etc. Whatever it is, do the work and do the necessary self-work too. Get therapy if you need therapy! I love therapy. It's so helpful to go. As actors, we portray so many different kinds of human being, so don't you also want to explore your own healing and better understand the human condition?
You know, I used to think that immersing myself into a full day of emotions would help me get into character. But it didn’t really work for me and I’d be extremely drained by the time I got on set. I think being authentic in your acting, enjoying the moment and believing your character’s story is very important.
One of the things with actors too is that sometimes you don’t want to be contracted to do a role as an actor because if you’re reading for other pilots and you have an interest in something else or a producer is talking to you about a movie or a show that’s been pitched and they’re thinking it’s gonna go, you don’t want to lock yourself into a schedule. And no one ever talks about that. In fact, usually you’re not allowed to. So you just sit there, and people have all these theories, and you can’t really say anything because of non-disclosure.
I'd hate to lose the character actress part of me, because, by God, the parts are much more interesting. As a black actress, all I was offered in British film was the best friend role, whereas in television, I was offered a whole spectrum of parts. I'd love to be able to follow that through into my newly-formed film career which I didn't expect to get at 36!
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