In Hong Kong They strike a gong And fire off a noonday gun To reprimand Each inmate Who's in late. - Noël Coward

Don't put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage
The profession is overcrowded
And the struggle's pretty tough
And admitting the fact she's burning to act
That isn't quite enough
She's a big girl and though her teeth are fairly good
She's not the type I ever would be eager to engage
I repeat, Mrs. Worthington, sweet Mrs. Worthington
Don't put your daughter on the stage.

It's such a surprise
For Eastern eyes
To see,
That though the English are effete,
They're quite impervious to heat.

I'll see you again,
Whenever spring breaks through again.