If you're like most members of the Baby Boom generation, you decided somewhere along the line, probably after about four margaritas, to have children… - Dave Barry

So they let the pythons go, and a lot of them ended up in the Everglades, which is basically Las Vegas for pythons. They've been engaging in wild python sex out there for years; wildlife biologists estimate that there are now more than one hundred thousand of them. They can grow to be longer than twenty feet, and they don't have any natural enemies, so they're eating all the other Everglades animals. The wildlife authorities are desperately trying to figure out what to do about this. My preference would be to use tactical nuclear weapons, but this would never fly with the wildlife community, which regards the Everglades as a precious ecosystem, even though to the naked civilian eye it is a giant festering stinkhole of muck.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and — regardless of their political or cultural differences — accuse each other of cheating.