"You need to delay the train." "How do I do that?" "Your head on the rails?" "Seriously?" "I don't know. But put it this way: if you don't delay the … - Jasper Fforde

"Oh!" said Landen, reading a letter. "A rejection from my publisher. They didn't think Fatal Parachuting Mistakes and How to Avoid Making Them Again was what they had in mind for self-help."
"I guess their target audience doesn't include dead people."
"You could be right."

"I need to get home and have a long, hot bath and then a martini."
Thursday5 thought for a moment. "After you've drunk the long, hot bath," she observed, "you'll never have room for the martini."

You’ll know the beginning easily enough; it’s when it all started going weird.