"I need to get home and have a long, hot bath and then a martini." Thursday5 thought for a moment. "After you've drunk the long, hot bath," she obser… - Jasper Fforde

No, I don’t want to seem underhand or insulting but Toccata’s a poisonous, untrustworthy, self-serving little reptile – with a severe personality disorder and a disquieting capacity for cannibalism.

"Haven't I seen your face somewhere else?"
"No, it's always been right here on the front of my head."

"How is the faith-unification business?"
"We've nearly got everyone," said Joffy with a smile. "The atheists came on board last week. Once we had suggested that 'god' could be a set of essentially beneficent physical rules of the cosmos, they were only too happy to join. In fact, apart from a few scattered remnants of faith leaders who can't quite come to terms with the loss of their power, influence and associated funny hats, it's all looking pretty good."