I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? - Douglas Adams

R is a velocity of measure, defined as a reasonable speed of travel that is consistent with health, mental well-being, and not being more than, say, five minutes late. It is therefore clearly as almost infinite variable figure according to circumstances, since the first two factors vary not only with speed as an absolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tranquility, this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers, and even death.

My doctor says that I have a malformed public duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber

You'll have a national Philosopher's strike on your hands!