(To his wife) You do not have testicular cancer. You don't even have "testiculars"! - Jeff Foxworthy

A few weeks ago, sitting in traffic -- bumper-to-bumper traffic in Atlanta -- the car in front of me has got a bumper sticker that says "Honk if you love Jesus". I toot the horn a couple times, and the guy flipped me off.

If you're a man and you've ever been antique shopping during a big football game, you're either gay or married.

I've often said working with Larry is a lot like watching the Jerry Springer Show. After five minutes, you will feel better about your own family.