To survive, much less succeed, I learned I could not give myself over to either pleasure or misery in excess. Whatever you felt was not important. - Alexander Chee

I was by now used to people being surprised by me and my background, and their surprise offended me. I was always having to be what I was looking for in the world, wishing the person I would become already existed — some other I before me. I was forever finding even the tiniest way to identify with someone to escape how empty the world seemed to be of what I was.

I am built for this terrible pain, I told myself, and sent myself on my way.

For the novelists in your life I have heard it said that it is better if you pretend they do something else and that it is always attended to, and doesn’t need your attention in the slightest. And then when asked for support, muster an enormous enthusiasm.