What do people mean when they say, 'I am not afraid of God because I know He is good'? Have they never even been to a dentist? - C. S. Lewis

It is very true. But even a traitor may mend. I have known one who did.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me.

Where we find a difficulty we may always expect that a discovery awaits us. Where there is cover we hope for game.