Trying to win an argument with an irrational person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. No matter how clear y… - Scott Adams

Rich guys used to be able to manipulate the stock market and make huge profits at the expense of smaller investors. It was big news when the small investors discovered they'd been screwed. Now there are many safeguards against the small investor ever finding out how much he's getting screwed.

If you don’t believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

A growing number of workers -- those who are more clever than industrious -- have already discovered the unbridled joy of sitting at home and getting paid for sleeping, eating, masturbating, and watching television. This technique -- sometimes called telecommuting -- has all the financial advantages of being employed with none of the stigma of being a filthy, perverted hobo.