Once again, we come to the holiday season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. - Dave Barry

But Nebraska was not always a bed of roses. When the first settlers arrived, they found a harsh, unforgiving place, a vast treeless expanse of barren, drought-parched soil. And so, summoning up the dynamic pioneer spirit of hope and steely determination, they left. But a few of them remained and built sod houses, which are actually made of dirt. Think about that. You can't clean a sod house, because it would be gone. The early settlers had a hell of a time getting this through to their children. "You kids stop tracking dirt out of the house!" they'd yell.

“It’s complicated.”
Jesse made a face. “Why do lawyers always say that?”
Erik laughed. “Because it’s almost always true.”

Never again will I underestimate the persuasive power of a woman with legal training and big tits.