He went on Friends Reunited and Moses got back in touch with him. That's how old he is! - Harry Hill

I've got a sister in Australia, so when I phone her up there is a slight delay on the line after I've spoken because she's a bit thick.

You're probably like me, when your doorbell rings, your dog goes racing up to the door...but it's never for him, is it? "Who did you think it was going to be, one of your little friends?"

I remember the shouts of "SCAB!" as my father went to work during the great dermatologists strike.