I hate grate talkers; i had rather hav a swarm of bees lite onto me. - Josh Billings

I think that a hen who undertakes tew lay 2 eggs a day must necessarily neglekt sum other branch ov bizzness.

Menny people spend their time trieing tew find the hole whare sin got into this world--if two men brake through the ice into a mill pond, they had better hunt for sum good hole tew git out, rather than git into a long argument about the hole they cum tew fall in.

I dont never hav enny trouble in regulating mi own kondukt, but tew keep other pholks straight iz what bothers me.