"The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love… - David Sedaris

but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love.

People are often frightened of Parisians, but an American in Paris will find no harsher critic than another American.

Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake — “A rescue snake, she’d be quick to inform you. This made it sound like he’d been snatched from the jaws of a raccoon, but what she’d really rescued him from was a life without her love. And what sort of a life would that have been?