"I subscribe to an email service from CNN called "CNN Break… - Maddox

"I subscribe to an email service from CNN called "CNN Breaking News." Basically every time shit hits the fan, you're supposed to receive an email. Most of the "breaking news" I've received has been as earth shattering as an actor arrested for drunk driving. Wow, now excuse me while I change my freshly soiled boxers."

Maddox

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About Maddox

George Ouzounian (better known as Maddox), born March 27, 1978, is the owner of The Best Page in the Universe, a satirical website.

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Alternative Names: George Ouzounian

All quotes from Maddox Similar Quotes by other Originators

Originators like Maddox:

George Carlin Yahtzee Croshaw Tina Fey David Sedaris J. D. Salinger

Additional quotes by Maddox

"If people who look different don't necessarily think differently, which they don't, then aren't they essentially discriminating against them by "embracing" them as being "diverse"?"

"Okay, here's a tip: if you're doing something creepy like molesting children, you don't need to take topless photos of yourself to seal the deal. We know, the pedosmile is enough."

Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.

"I subscribe to an email service from CNN called "CNN Breaking News." Basically every time shit hits the fan, you're supposed to receive an email. Mo… - Maddox

About Maddox

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