It caused quite a stir when the Captain arrived To ‘find out the cause of the trouble’ And every man there, all excepting Old Sam, Was full of excite… - Stanley Holloway

I crawled in the street and I murmured,"I'm done." Then up came Old Jenkins and shouted,"Oh son!" "My word you do look well! My word you do look well! You're looking fine and in the pink!" I shouted, "Am I? Come and have a drink! You've put new life in me, I'm sounder than a bell. By gad! There's life in the old dog yet. My word I do feel well!"

And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! The handkerchiefs that cost me three shillings or so - And that seems a lot for poor Uncle John And anything goes to blow noses on. <p> Talking of noses, hers is red enough. I know what I'll buy her. A nice powder puff. <p> Now she can't powder her nose with a grand piano. Nor yet with a sewing machine. She can't powder her nose with an Ingersoll watch - Well that's silly, you know what I mean. She can't powder her nose with a jumper. She'll find that a little bit rough. So I'll pop round to Woolworth's tomorrow, God bless her And buy her a nice powder puff. <p> And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! Sixpence ha'pennies aren't found in back yards. I'll not buy her a powder puff at all - no. I'll just send her my kindest regards.

And yet I don't know. And yet I don't know! The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so. And that would buy plenty of linen and thread And things that are hand-made are best, so it's said. It's not that I'm mingy - although I'm half Scotch. I know what I'll buy her. A Ingersoll watch.