Before we took our leave of Jamaica, I was presented with the Marcus Garvey Lifetime Achievement Award by the creator and organizer of the festival, … - Roger Moore

Michael Caine once told me that John Wayne had advised him never to wear suede shoes. Apparently Wayne once did and was standing in a pissoir when someone next to him looked over and said, ‘My God! It’s John Wayne!’ and, as he turned to face the Duke, peed all over his suedes.

You gotta love livin’, kid. Because dyin’s a pain in the ass.

Which reminds me of a story that Stanley Holloway told me. He and Rex Harrison were out having dinner at a restaurant one night, when a chap approached them. ‘Oh, Mr Harrison! Forgive me, but I’m a huge fan . . .’ ‘Fuck off then,’ snapped Rex. Later, as they were leaving, the same chap was standing outside. ‘I’m sorry, Mr Harrison, I realize I shouldn’t have interrupted your meal so I’ve waited for you to finish.’ He proffered a piece of paper hoping for an autograph. ‘Fuck off!’ Rex snapped again. Without blinking, the chap thumped Rex in the face and sent him flying backwards. Stanley nearly wet himself with laughter. ‘That’s the first case of the fan hitting the shit I’ve ever witnessed,’ he chuckled.