The chief beauty of this book lies not so much in its literary style, or in the extent and usefulness of the information it conveys, as in its simple… - Jerome K. Jerome

When a twelfth-century youth fell in love he did not take three paces backward, gaze into her eyes, and tell her she was too beautiful to live. He said he would step outside and see about it. And if, when he got out, he met a man and broke his head—the other man's head, I mean—then that proved that his—the first fellow's—girl was a pretty girl. But if the other fellow broke his head—not his own, you know, but the other fellow's—the other fellow to the second fellow, that is, because of course the other fellow would only be the other fellow to him, not the first fellow who—well, if he broke his head, then his girl—not the other fellow's, but the fellow who was the—Look here, if A broke B's head, then A's girl was a pretty girl; but if B broke A's head, then A's girl wasn't a pretty girl, but B's girl was. That was their method of conducting art criticism.

Foolish people... When I say foolish people in this contemptuous way, I mean people who entertain different opinions to mine. If there's one person I do despise more than another, it's the man who doesn't think exactly the same on all topics as I do.

"Oh, give me back the good old days of fifty years ago," has been the cry ever since Adam's fifty-first birthday.