"How is that working out?" I asked. "Somewhere between frustratingly slow and fiendishly elusive." - Jasper Fforde

"You'll forgive me for saying this," said Webastow, looking over his glasses, "but this is the most harebrained piece of unadulterated stupidity that any government has ever undertaken anywhere."
"Thank you very much," replied Ms. Yogert courteously. "I'll make sure your compliments are forwarded to Prime Minister van de Post."

"I'll be honest," I said, "I have nothing against anyone who believes, but I think it's a dangerous nonsense."

"You need to delay the train."
"How do I do that?"
"Your head on the rails?"
"Seriously?"
"I don't know. But put it this way: if you don't delay the train, I will punch you five times hard in the head."
"Once would probably be enough as a punishment."
"You don't need to be punished, you need motivating. And not getting punched five times is a terrific motivator. Take my word for it."