they had felt so much hurt that hostility was their only defense against being crushed again. - Melody Beattie

Control is an illusion. It doesn’t work.

Do we really have the right to take care of ourselves? Do we really have the right to set boundaries? Do we really have the right to be direct and say what we need to say? You bet we do.

Imagine All the Possibilities Think of all the possibilities for your life — for love, for work, for growth. Think of all the possibilities for adventure, for fun, and for service. This day, this week, this month, this year abounds with possibilities. Each task you have to do, each problem you encounter and need to solve abounds with possibilities. Your life abounds with possibilities. For a long time, we only saw some of the possibilities life held. We’d look at a situation and see the possibilities for guilt, victimization, sadness, and despair. We’d tell ourselves there was only one choice, or no choice, or that something had to be done in a particular way — the hardest and dreariest way possible. We’d neglect to envision the other options — the choices for joy, for making any event more fun, more pleasant, more enjoyable.