The whole thing stinks, Carr! - Russell Brand

Could you imagine a wand that was not camp? Could you imagine, for example, Ray Winstone, with a wand? (Impersonating him) 'RIGHT OK. IT'S A KIND OF MAGIC, SIT DOWN.'

[After a boxing match in which Brand punched his father hard enough for the older man to fall to his knees] Shall we go down the pub and chat up some birds? Do something we're both good at?

Cilla Black: What are you like?
Russell: A bit like Jesus but with an electric willy.