Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read. - David Sedaris

We’re like a pair of bad trapeze artists, reaching for each other’s hands and missing every time

A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.

The woman had decided that I was a hard-ass, one of those guys who refuse under any circumstances to do anyone a favor. But it's not true. I just prefer that the favor be my idea, and that it leaves me feeling kind rather than bullied and uncomfortable.